Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Celebrate Good Times



Some celebrations reach so far into heart
And pit of stomach...so deep inside, we can’t call it.
I wait for more than four hours, not long on many days
but taxing when I'm waiting for an all clear
from the oncologist who has our future in his hands.

I know the signs now; wait for them with trembling knees.
If doctor comes to the side chair to talk to me, it’s good news.
If Pearl, his assistent,  tells me to come to the room in the back
where doctor waits, I know its bad news; terrible news.

Dr. Dhalaki walks into my vision, mask hanging like a necklace
around his neck. A small, serious man whose brow is always
furrowed. He never gives away an answer in his expressions.
Then he takes the turn, his head buried in some kind of report,
sits down in the chair by the side of the front desk.

We make eye contact and the tears well up, he’s OK,
my husband is OK for another three months.  No cancer.
All this before the Doctor opens his mouth.  He shows
me photos of Bill’s bladder and prostate so I’ll understand
I don’t need the photos.  I have all the information I need.

I want to see my husband so we can celebrate life anew.

24 comments:

becca said...

:)

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh, this must be always like living on a knife edge of nerves.
Thank God he was given the cancer free news but, 3 months comes around so quickly. It's still always living on nerves.
I so can feel this for you.

Peggy said...

Yes something wonderful to celebrate for sure.

Helen said...

So many of your readers have walked this walk, talked this talk .. yet, it felt brand new today as I read your words. Keep the faith ......

Willow said...

Wonderful, celebratory news. Good descriptive poem of the tension, the doctor, the signs. I hope this doesn't have to be every three months forever, that after one year all is clear, no more.

Andy David said...

Dear Judy,
Great news my friend. Love is always worth celebrating. Beautiful ending...

Mary said...

This is a wonderful thing to be able to celebrate! Yes, some celebrations do reach far into the heart.

Victoria said...

Your cancer related love poems are among my favorite of your work, judy. So strong and real and detailed - so true. You sure nailed this doctor's "tell". And I'm joyful with you that Bill is cancer free.

Raining Iguanas said...

A toast to you and yours, breathe now...

Mary Mansfield said...

Truly a wonderful bit of news to celebrate! And I agree with what has already been said, you've captured that agonizing wait so vividly. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us at Poetry Jam!

Ann said...

Glad you have lots to celebrate and a bushell of perfect moments, Judy. Wahoo!

Hannah said...

Oh, my tears of happiness and touched by your words. Such a lesson in this...not to take life, those we love for granted. Thank you!

Lynne said...

Lovely poem, Judy, and I'm so happy for you and Bill. I know what you mean, though, I hold my breath every time the PSA test time rolls around for my brother. Have you found Steve's bookm The Rancid Walnut, helpful? I think he wrote it with people like you and Bill in mind.

nan said...

The joy and relief in this post radiate through the screen. Good news worth cherishing. (Thank you for the visit to my blog and for your kind comment.) Best wishes!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh my God, Judy, what a thing to be going through every three months. ABSOLUTELY a reason to celebrate. May the answer always remain the same! Bless you both.

Grace said...

Wonderful news...and of course, a big reason to celebrate ~

Loredana Donovan said...

So glad to hear your husband is OK, certainly a reason to celebrate with the one you love! :)

Dave King said...

This really resonated with me. Just recently been there - or somewhere so like. Thanks for this.

SaraV said...

How terrifying!
You did an incredible job of sitting me right next to you, sharing the fear and tension. Love the ending, don't need the pictures already know everything I need to know. So glad that it was good news, hoping that the good news keeps on coming.

ND Mitchell said...

A definite reason to celebrate. Wonderfully recorded.

Brian Miller said...

oh god, my stomach was hurting waiting for the relief...bless you...cancer has touched my family greatly...nicely writ and all too real...

Kim Nelson said...

JOY!!!
What a lovely way to share the news, Judy.

Abin Chakraborty said...

there are things beyond blogs posts and our self-congratulatory rhetoric of poetic genius.its difficult to comment on things as serious and momentous as these.I only wish you the very best and may you keep receiving more of these all clear reports.

kolembo said...

Wow, jeez, I had to re-read it, lulled by it's easy language, its matter-of-fact facade.

It's good news I think. And this is the thing with the nature of the poem.

I don't know.

Very good.