Sunday, November 30, 2008

PAD30- Summation - Last day of Chapbook Challenge

Essence Reclaimed

I'm decorating the Christmas tree today. My husband
hangs magnolia garlands on the porch and gate. Such
a perfect time of year for us until the loss of my son.
Today I begin to sob uncontrollably as I hold
the decoration my son made when he was seven.

I reclaim a life out of ashes, this year the difference is
my grief doesn’t take my day. My husband comes in,
holds me for a long time and we weep together. No
words. None needed.

People count on us to be strong and go on. I see the progress
I have made in this grief, deep and sorrowful ,that catches up
with me no matter how long its been or how strong I feel.
This is my world. I cry, I sob, I wail if I have to but then,
I get back to life and my day isn’t over. I remember him
with love, I revisit that dark place where all the pain comes
from but I come back to this light and the life that is mine.
I’ll only relinquish so much to the power of death.

My son’s absence will change me for life, so will every other loss
I suffer to some degree, but the side of me it brings out , years
after his death, is one I’m proud of. One that I know didn’t exist
before. One that can weep and carry on, be sad but see the beauty,
be tripped up with grief, blindsided by the pain, but yet move forward.
I am reminded each time I rise that I can do anything now, I’ve been
through the worst and I‘m still here.


Peggy said...

Judy your collection of poems from this month is a triumph. I feel sure your had a very good chance in the contest! Thank you so much for sharing so much. Love to you.

Victoria said...

I love your collection of poems Judy - and this one mkes me cry with the tears you shed over the ornament your son made at seven. I do love the strength and grace with which you have learned to live through loss - and wish you hadn't had your terrible loss all the same.

Mary said...

A very apt summation of your month of work, Judy. I think the words "I reclaim a life out of ashes, this year the difference is my grief doesn't take my day" are a statement, which (for me) is a message I get very strongly from your work this November. Bravo to you for a job well done!

Sue said...

Judy...thanks for sharing your deep thoughts with me. Hugs.

Peggy said...

I am here again rereading through your collection of the month. I love this one in particular. it made me cry and I don't cry easily. Hugs to you all.