Thursday, November 20, 2008

PAD 19 - The Big Picture

Grief is a Job

Grief is a job
its not a job anyone welcomes, wants,
or knows how to deal with ahead of time.
Its labor intensive and exhausting.
We have to take care of ourselves
physically as well as emotionally
so that we are up to the task.
Grief is a project that we will get through.
We will learn to encorporate our loss into
our life so that we can go on eventually.
We can forget the life we led before our
loved one dies, our lives will never be
the same. It will be our responsibility
to rebuild ourselves, reinvent us so
that we are compatible with living fully
again. We can’t rush grief and time is
the one sure thing that works for this
malady that strikes us all eventually.
Another tool that always works is to get
outside ourselves and helping others
in some way.
We owe it to ourselves and those who
love us to get through grief, get to
the other side of grief and live again.
We can’t expect things to ever be
the same, but joy will return as well
as love. Accepting those things
into our lives honors our loved one
who has passed away.
It takes as long as it takes, we can't
rush it and neither can any one else.
Our loved one has left us gifts and we
have to look for them. My son left me
a fearlessness and openness about life
that I would never have thought possible.
I thought of myself as an injured bird
when I began this process but now I see
myself as an eagle, better able to fly.

3 comments:

Mary said...

Such wise reflections and wisdom about grief, Judy. I am sure anyone who has gone through the grieving process can empathize with your words.

And...I do see you as an eagle too!

Peggy said...

So wise Judy. Again all I can say is your book will be amazing. Love and care to you and Bill.

SeaStar said...

Grief truly is a job, one of the toughest I've done.