Cigarette throat, hoarse and raw.
Yellow fingers with bloody cracks
reach for another Camel. He swears.
Swollen eyes flinch as the hotel florescent sign
shines gawdawful yellow into the early morning
squalor. He gulps the last inch of vodka
then places the bullet in the chamber.
11 comments:
Yikes!
Yikes!
Wow! This is so powerful. penny
This is really very vivid Judy. Creepy scene. Makes me kind of shiver and say to myself I am glad I am not there. What a portrait! And all this from instant coffee.
Wow! I love surprise endings, but his is so startling. Of course, I'm assuming that bullet isn't for someone else. Still, very intense moment. Very visual, actually sensual all around, even smells. That makes me smile.
Truly frightening, Judy.
I love htis as art, judy. it catches the grittiness and the desparation of this man's life as he choses to end it. I like the way you focus on the color of the light. I love that you write poems like this. Reading them breaks pink bubble denial about how some people live and die. it is a hard truth/good medicine poem for me. Thank you.
Judy, this scared the daylights out of me. I was not expecting that ending. Nice concise piece.
Pamela
Each word is well chosen, leading to some powerful imagery.
I am hollowed out and speechless from this gritty poem of hopelessness.
Beautiful poem. Nice capture of despair, the end of a broken man.
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