I wrote Christmas newsletters every October
to have them ready to send the first of December
gave it up because I could have just photocopied
the letters from previous years.
The kids are doing great, Jeni is settled
and happy, Brian is ready to graduate
from University of Florida. We are so
proud of them. Bill still works hard every
day at home and will soon retire from
the fire department. That will allow him
more time at our business. Ha! My life
is full with family, friends, travel, and work.
I stopped sending the newsletters, no more repetition.
I knew it had to be boring to read since nothing ever
happened out of the ordinary; same old, same old,
day in, day out. I loved my life but it was nothing
to write about or even bother friends with.
In December 1999 my son died and I could have
begun my newsletter again. Plenty was happening
but I didn’t have the strength to relay the details.
I often thought what I wouldn’t give to be back in
the same old, same old of days the past. What I
wouldn’t give to have no real news, just status quo
to report, everyone is doing fine.
It’s been nine years and I still can’t find my common
place where I am comfortable and life goes on
in the same way every day. Every aspect of this life
has changed and continues to change. I can never settle,
never feel that comfort zone. I so want to write
“no real news here; same old, same old.” but instead I
write: I hurt, I search, I do, I try, I keep on moving.
April 8, 2009