Its been such a long and tiresome journey
I’ve had breakthroughs and setbacks
sorrows and joy as I rebuilt my life.
I’ve been blessed with family and friends who care
who listen to me when they’ve heard the story over
and over again. Who allow me to grieve the way I
need to grieve. Who don’t tell me to get over it
or make me feel I’ve dishonored my son by even
speaking to them about him. Who accept my
remembrances and sharing a gift.
Every day is work, every day I think of him
I think often of others I have lost
Grandmothers, father, brother, aunts,uncles
cousins, friends, the list grows as it will
as long as I live. I feel better prepared, stronger.
I have a choice each day to embrace life
or let the losses and griefs of an imperfect world
keep me from embracing that which is rich
and wonderful; the love of my husband, a daughter
I adore who is happy, a future son-in-law who I
already love. New art in my life and excitement
over each new day and what it might produce in me.
As losses appear in my life now, I feel better prepared
stronger. I know nothing will ever hurt me again
as much as I’ve already been hurt. That’s freedom.
I’m so thankful for the time we had with Brian;
twenty-three wonderful years. I wouldn’t take
anything for any one of those years, not even
the knowledge that the end would be the way it
it. No hesitation. It was worth every minute
of every day . Thank you, Brian, for all your
gifts, most of all for you.