Friday, November 11, 2011

His Point of View

Following is my poem for PAD that is from another person's view point.  I chose my husband's thoughts while we waited for him to be wheeled off for surgery.  I know these were his thoughts because he expressed them to me.

Today is my birthday.

I had plans for celebration
but instead I lay in this hospital bed
hooked up to beeping machines.
I place my hand over my wife’s
As she stands by my bed.

She stands on that side of the rail
and I’m lying here, she can’t understand. 
This really is a journey each of us takes alone.

I am afraid but I’m a man. I can’t show it,
can’t be the one to crumble under the weight
of the C word and worry what they will cut out.

The anesthecist gives me a shot of courage. I guess
I didn’t carry off the brave act well enough.  We
are going, moving to the operating room.  I love you
Honey.  Did I tell her everything I wanted to?

That she is the best thing that ever happened to me
and if I died today, it would be OK because it’s been
better than I ever dreamed.  Not to worry about me.
That I’ll be with my son if I am not here with her. 

Yes, I know I did.  Nothing left to say, so I’ll sing.
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to..


Mary said...

Stunning and beautiful poem, Judy. We each have to tell each other what we want to, as we don't know how much time we will have.

I am glad things worked out well for your DH. But I also know each of you said the things you needed to....just in case.

Heavens2Betsy said...

Painful and poignant words filled with humanity. everything that counts is here. penny

Victoria said...

This is strong, strong, strong. You are best when you write from your gut, from the most real moments. Maybe we all are. The strength and trugh and love between you and Bill rings through in this poem, as well as your courage to enter his thoutghts at such a tender moment and his courage to let you write them down and share. I so respect you both.

Peggy said...

Amazing poem Judy. You really got inside his head! I am not a crier but this brings me close!