She always does the same thing.
I always expect different results.
My gut aches from the knots her games
bring me when she’s around. She says she loves me
wants me to be part of her life, suckers me
in
with all I’ve ever wanted.
She always does the same thing.
But each time I’m hopeful, just like the
time before.
Then she slams me with her accusations,
critiques,
blames me for everything wrong in her
life. I believe her,
try to make things better. I give of myself,
my resources, my life. She’s family, I have
to try again.
She always does the same thing.
She can go on and on for years before she
breaks,
has to hurt me as deeply and more than
ever before. She always succeeds. I always
think it’s worth it before I find myself
crawling away like a snake, unworthy as a
human.
I’m wrecked, humbled before her, pleading,
she kicks me in the gut again. Spears me in the heart.
Stands back and views her damage with some
pride.
She always does the same thing.
(Anaphora Poem)
15 comments:
I felt your ongoing hope for better comes through most strongly in this poem - in the end you can only control your own responses, and so there is no doubt who's noblest here.
My response is simply........time to walk away. Period. It will only repeat again. If you return again and again, it is you yourself setting yourself up for the pain. Your choice.
I've had a lot of time to think about it, Mary. I know I only have one choice but I still don't like it and will always be working it out in my mind. Sigh. Life is so complicated and then it gets more so. Sometimes walking away is more complicated than anything.
Emotional and heartfelt piece, if this is something that is happening in your life, I hope you can see a way through it...best wishes:-))
Sigh. Not easy.
Wow, how powerful and intense. Well done!
I like the way the repetition reinforces the message.
Great word picture. I feel your pain.
Is this about me and my mother? Kinda kidding - kinda not. authentic
Gotta go and read this poem to someone--it places a perfect emphasis on over and over and over, world without end. Except a new one could begin in a happier place if this someone would simply not be there to break--as complex as that is, as hard as that is, because the next stanza and the next will be the same pattern. Ouch.
Wow! Yep, you are so right, Susan. This poem has so many verses already and the longer I stick with it, the verses will always be the same.
Eerie and true to the psychologist reality of such circumstances we often relive because of selfishness or their belief system. Marvelous poetry ! Thank you ~ Deborah
This must be a close family member, and that is sad. I wonder just how many of us have such an individual in our lives. I question the title of your poem. The narrator seems to be the one being punished, for what? Existing?Your poem hit home on so many levels, and engendered so many questions. That is not a bad thing,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
Sometimes life is really not that simple and the people we love as complicated...I can relate to this poem...you put into words what I cannot...I love the person I could picture in my own life in between this powerful words...I just pray things will turn out for the best in the end...:)
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