The last scene is one long goodbye
on the street under the light.
He stares into her eyes with such
longing and love, she seems aloof
and looks around as he talks. She
finally looks him in the eyes as soon
as the blade pierces her skin, no one
exists but him, that moment, that blade.
17 comments:
Not our typical Judy work. Excellent! Scary! Startling!
Oh my, Judy! This gives me the shivers!
Quite a surprising twist in this. A final scene indeed!
I like it when you experiment with different styles, Judy. An intense poem! I especially like the ending:
"that moment, that blade."
Stunning surprise ending, I expect her to end it, but he ends it with a knife! Powerful.
What a twist at the end...totally unexpected.
Brilliantly captured.
Stunning, sharp piece Judy.
Wow! That was a surprise ending... an interesting piece of prose poetry.
judy! what everyone else said!
whoosh!
I was really surprised by the ending. Startling and highly effective twist.
OMG! This is scary! Is this person with the blade an angry boyfriend?
Judy,
A very powerful scene set with your words and then that very unexpected ending!
Next chapter, please......
Eileen
Reads great out loud. Way to stick you're message home at the end. It was flowing along smoothly and then WHAM. Very nice. Great skill.
incredible.
keep shining like a famous star.
you rock.
Dramatic.
Brilliant twist into darkness at the end. Great work.
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